First, here's some background information:
We're renting a condo with a really fabulous deck on the upper floor.
The deck. The mountains aren't really visible right now, but when they are they ratchet up the fabulousness quotient immensely.
This deck, however, is not completely partitioned off; instead, there is one enormous deck surface for 4 condo units, and this surface is partitioned using planters and really large flowerpots. A few weeks ago, the inhabitants of one of the other units asked if they could use our section for a party that would extend across all 4 decks, and we said yes. We think they forgot to move some of the flowerpots back when they were finished.
Now that I've probably confused half of you to hell and bored the rest, I will continue with the main feature, courtesy of my long-suffering husband: Steak Kebabs Made Easy In The 21st Century.
1) Buy a package of scrumptious ready-made steak kebabs (you know, with the onions and peppers already speared on with the meat) from a grocery store.
2) Add a rub
3) Take the kebabs to the deck
4) Bellow when you discover a neighbour's dog doing its business on your deck.
5) Bellow some more when you discover signs of other, older, and messier doggy business on your deck.
6) Conduct a heated discussion with the neighbours. Discover more than one dog may have been responsible.
7) Ask the wife where the disinfectant is. Tell her what happened.
8) Leave the kebabs in a spot where you're sure the cat can't reach them. Take the disinfectant back to the deck.
9) Hear the wife shriek as she comes out too and accidentally lets the cat escape.
10) Wait until the cat, with the wife in pursuit, realizes that running around outside isn't nearly as fun as he had been led to believe, then help the cat back inside.
11) Clean the deck.
12) Go back inside to fetch the kebabs.
13) Bellow again upon seeing the cat in the spot you thought he couldn't reach, happily licking the kebabs.
14) Wash the kebabs really, really well.
15) Grill the kebabs.
16) Eat the kebabs (we figure the combination of immersion and immolation should counteract whatever the cat did).
17) Vow to buy a house with a deck and a really good fence ASAP. Toast that thought with an extra glass of wine.
A slightly better view of the mountains, with a wistful cat in the foreground.
Chester says, "You know, if you would just get me a really big cat tree then maybe I wouldn't try so hard to escape."